


Recipe for Diaster

by DancingDragon42



Category: Rent - Larson
Genre: Baking Fail, Birthday Party, F/F, Flour Fights are a Trope for me, Fluff, Nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-14
Updated: 2006-10-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 11:58:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5706889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingDragon42/pseuds/DancingDragon42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maureen has a little baking mishap.  Just a little funny story I wrote because my other one was depressing me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recipe for Diaster

**Author's Note:**

> Moving stuff currently from FF.net. Guys, I wrote this 10 years ago, Christ. It shows.
> 
> Original Note: This story is dedicated to Lauren who will eat anything you give her, but you should never eat anything she made.

Joanne stood in the kitchen of the small apartment she and Maureen shared, turning the dial on their ancient oven trying to get it lined up exactly on 350 degrees.

"Joanne come on, stop being so anal, I wanna make cookies!" whined Maureen from the table where the ingredients were spread out to make chocolate chip cookies for Angel's birthday.

"It has to be exact Mo, baking is a science you know."

"Oh do you have to take the fun out of everything? They don't have to be perfect, let's just make them."

"There we go!" declared Joanne turning away from the dial, "now we can-" _*ring*_ "oh what is it now?" _*ring*_ "Can't I have my day off in peace?" She went grudgingly to pick up the phone.

"No, Joanne come on, it's our day for fun, don't-"

"Hello?" Joanne said, picking up the phone.

Maureen shot her an annoyed look.

"Ok, I'll be right down." She hung up the phone and scowled at it. "I'm really sorry honey, but my secretary didn't file some important papers, and she's out of town and no one else can get into my office, so I have to go down there real quick."

"But, pookie…" Maureen pouted.

"I'll be right back I promise, can you make the cookies while I'm gone?"

"Of course, how hard can it be?"

Joanne looked suspiciously at her and said, "alright, just don't burn the building down or anything, and read the recipe  _carefully_ " Grabbing her coat, Joanne kissed her girlfriend on the cheek and dashed out the door.

Maureen pulled the recipe book towards her and flipped through it searching for the recipe for chocolate chip cookies. It was an old book, which Joanne had been writing recipes in since her mom started teaching her to cook when she was nine. There were small dividers labeled, breads, meat, fish, poultry, and desserts, but within each divider, there was no sense of order and folded recipes from backs of boxes and piecrusts fell out with each turn of a page. It was amusing how un-Joanne it was.

Finally, Maureen found the recipe for chocolate chip cookies. From the childish scrawl in which it was written, she guessed that it had been one of Joanne's firsts. The page was yellowed and spotted from years of splashes; Maureen had to squint to read the ingredients.

Butter 1 cup

hite sugar 3/4 cup

Brown sugar 3/4 c p

E g 2

Va a extract 2 te ons

Flour 2 1/4 cups

Baking soda 1 tea oon

Salt 1 pi

Chocol chips 2 cup

"Oh I can tell what it says," she said to herself, "This'll be easy."

xXx

"I'm back!" announced Joanne as she opened the door about forty-five minutes later. The pleasant smell of fresh baked cookies hit her, then something a little odd… "Maureen, what happened with the cookies?" she said heading towards the kitchen.

"Nothing! They're just a little…crispy."

"Did you set the timer?"

"Yes,  _mom,_  I even had to take them out early. It was really odd…"

"Something must have been wrong with the –Oh...My…god!" Joanne had just turned the corner into the kitchen and realized that it was completely covered in flour. "What happened?!"

"I had a little mishap with the mixer," replied Maureen, stifling a giggle. Her face and shirt were both a slightly paler than when Joanne left.

"Oh...my..." repeated Joanne this time stifling a laugh.

"Oh this is funny is it?" said Maureen, taking a step towards Joanne, dipping her fingers in the open bag of flour, a sneaky look on her face, "well then, you know what would be even funnier?" In a flash, she reached out, leaving a white handprint on the side of Joanne's face. "HA!"

She stood and stared for a moment than reached past Maureen and planed her hand in the flour on the table. "Now what?"

"AAAAHHH!" Maureen darted out of the room, flailing her arms about ridiculously as if she was being chased by a man with a knife. Joanne chased after her, laughing hysterically.

xXx

Three hours later Maureen and Joanne arrived at the loft for Angel's surprise, the plate of cookies in hand. Sliding the door open without knocking Maureen declared their arrival, "We're here! And we have COOKIES!"

"OOOOH, chocolate chip, my favorite!" exclaimed Angel, running over.

"I know," said Maureen, "that's why  _I_ made them!"

"Well thank you, sweetie," said Angel, hugging her, and then reaching for a cookie. By then everyone else had gathered around, curious and surprised that Maureen had cooked something. Angel bit into her cookie and chewed for a brief moment …

"OH MY GOD MAUREEN!" she shouted, spitting the cookie back out suddenly, "what on earth did you do to these cookies?" Joanne turned and glared questioningly at Maureen.

"Nothing, I swear I followed the recipe!" said Maureen defensively.

"Here let me try one," said Collins, reaching for the tray. He bit in to it than immediately drank a big gulp from the cup in his hand. "Ugh! How much salt did you put in these things?"

"Well… it was hard to read the recipe, I could only really see, salt –1 pi, but I put a pint in, I mean, what else would it say?"

"A pint?" asked Mimi incredulously. They all stared at Maureen like she had lost her mind, she still couldn't quite figure out why.

"How do you even  _measure_  a pint of salt?" asked Mark.

"Guys seriously," said Maureen trying to defend herself, what other type of measurement stars with pi? That's what it said, honest!"

"A pinch of salt," said Joanne with her head in her hands, "it said, a pinch of salt"

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [justaphage](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/justaphage%20)


End file.
